The Subtle Art of Epiphanies
by Not Jessica
Summary: When he hears the somewhat unconventional language coming out of that room on the 31st floor he thinks of nothing but a quick meal, but Joseph Kostan gets much more then he bargained for, after all, what do any of us really now about our neighbours?
1. Chapter 1

**This, like all my work, both FF and otherwise is dedicated to Coral Matheson, the toughest lady in Australia.**

_Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast._

_**Oscar Wilde**__, __An Ideal Husband, 1893, Act I_

**Chapter One- Taking the Stairs**.

Joseph Kostan was looking like he normally did; utterly not normal. He sat alone on his multi-million dollar furniture in his multi-billion dollar apartment drinking fresh blood from an elegant glass. He wore a well fitted, custom made suit and a bright red silk shirt. He lay back and let the sound pained violins permeate from his state of the art sound system. As far as the average day goes for Joseph Kostan, this was a particularly good one, nothing special, just good.

It was about 10:30 on this day where nothing special happened, Joseph had finished contemplating how wealthy he was and he'd decided to go out for dinner, instead of eating in for a change. Joseph Kostan doesn't take the stairs, its his rule, no matter how much quicker it was for him to jump down the endless flight of stairs then take the lift there is nothing less promising to a perspective human client when they think you just wasted ten minutes of your day, and theirs, in a freaking stairwell. No one ever understood why he decided to take the stairs that day, of all days, in years to come the few romantics among the vampire community called it fate, the realists called it his undoing, but no matter where taking the stairs led him, know one doubts that Joseph Kostan never regretted it.

****

How is it, Joseph silently mused, that no matter how expensive a block of apartments are, that their stairs inexplicably will always have that minty-fresh urine smell that never fails to make anyone unfortunate enough to inhale it feel like they just threw up a little in their mouths. Joseph was already lamenting this whim to take the stairs and he had barely gotten to the landing half way between floor number 32, his floor and the floor below (the spot that he had rated the most sophisticated place to jump) when he found himself making an elegant, yet very frantic run to the entrance of the 31st floor. He slowed down once the heavy door shut behind him, he had strutted half way down the hall towards the elevator on the opposite end when out of the room on his left came a strangled cry and the words, "Jesus Fucking Christ!!! Shitting Fucking Shit it!!" Joseph confessed himself amused, the crude language of the latest generation of humans was this nudging and constant reminder of how old he was, and therefore how powerful he was, the voice sounded young, maybe he could interest the voice in a proposition, somehow he didn't feel much like eating out anymore, not when there was a potentially perfectly good meal right below his feet.


	2. Chapter 2The Girl Sort of Next Door

**Chapter Two- The Girl Sort of Next Door**

Joseph decided to knock, occasionally he just barged into people's houses, but that was when he wanted to create a different effect, trying to convince someone they should let him bite into their wrist and suck their blood any time he pleased for as long as they occupied the apartment close in proximity to his often required a smoother approach, hence the knocking.

At the sound of the third tap at the door the steady stream of swearing ceased. Joseph knocked again. This time a girl of about twenty-five opened the door, she had long, curly blonde hair and was wearing a pair torn dirty jeans, an unbuttoned shirt and a plain white singlet. Her eyes had the look of someone weighing up her options before she played her hand; consequently it was a while before either of them spoke. It was the girl who broke the silence, "you're the rich guy from upstairs, right?" her tone wasn't hostile, but it wasn't friendly…. "_protective?"_ Joseph mused. He simply smiled in way of reply. After a few moments of silence it was again the girl who spoke "Look, I don't mean to be rude it's just, well, do you want something? It's just that I've just had a rather spectacular disaster and as much as I would like to talk to you and everything if we are just going to be standing here, to be honest would rather be getting back to it." She spoke in a strange trans-global accent. For a moment Joseph was stunned, usually he could turn on his Vampire Charming Sexy thing with just a smile, but it didn't look like just Vampire charm alone was going to work here, he would have to throw in some Joseph charm as well.

"My name's Joseph Kostin, could I come in?"

"I'm Kate" she said by way of reply as she cleared the threshold and invited him through by a wave of her hand.

The room in front of him was the strangest thing he had ever seen, he had expected the room to be substandard to his own, he had ordered the architects that his apartment should be obviously the prime real estate in the building, but the guys had really gone all out; The walls were totally bare, the apartment consisted of two small bedrooms, one bathroom and a kitchen, the balcony was tiny and the windows seemed to have been designed to be purposely inconvenient. Although this wasn't what grabbed Joseph's attention first, his interior decorators, could have cleared that up in no time, it was what the owners had done with the place that caught his eye, it was clear that they hadn't employed his interior decorators.

The floor was inexplicably covered in dirty old mattresses, any space that wasn't taken up by these was taken up by a series of musical instruments in various states of completion or tools and jars of what was presumably paint and oil or else both empty and full bottles of beer, packets of cigarettes and the odd Joint lying half smoked on an ashtray.

By that point Joseph had decided that this Kate girl was not going to be his freshy, no matter how close she lived, a girl like that could have anything in her bloodstream, Joseph was all for the occasional high or drunken brawl, but the idea of not knowing exactly what he was drinking exhibited a lack of control that he wouldn't stand. Despite this, his curiosity got the better of him and he followed Kate into the kitchen where she was busying herself with a kettle.

"So" Kate said as she handed Joseph a cup of black tea "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I couldn't help but notice" began Joseph inventing his excuse as he went along "the swearing, I confess my curiosity aroused"

"That would be the result of me making the stupidest fucking mistake of the year" said Kate

"How so?" probed Joseph.

"I just wasted $1557, ruining a violin that has taken me two months to almost complete" at the reminder of this she buried her face into her hands. In spite of himself Joseph let slip.

"How did you manage that?"

"I used the wrong combination of oils" came the muffled pained voice from behind the hands at this Joseph failed to suppress a giggle, something he hadn't done for a long time. Kate noticed and ventured to explain herself "You see I usually use 70% of my natural mix and 30% of my prosthetic mix for 1st violins but I used 90% of my natural mix which is what I usually use for my 2nd violins, now the fussiest musician in Kiev is hardly going to pay me the $1600 he owes me if his 1st violin sounds like a 2nd now, will he." Joseph was taken back by this and he only vaguely registered that here was were his sympathetic response should go.

After around half an hour of lazy back and forth conversation Joseph realised something, he certainly didn't like Kate, he found her constant swearing horrible and the two were clearly from different circles, but, despite himself, he found Kate fascinating and he realised he would not be leaving until he had absolutely no excuses to stay.

_**FYI**__- Just so everyone is clear I have purposely tried to make aspects of the story pompous, this is simply me attempting to channel some of Joseph's character. Please don't get the impression that I'm the stuck up one!_


End file.
